Gotta love the 21st century GOP- the party of monster debt, unlawful foreign agression, earth-hating, anti-science dunderheads and creators of the worst president in American history. When it comes to showing the world how NOT to govern and relate to each other, today’s GOP truly is #1. But even being the enablers of malfeasance like the FEMA debacle in 2005 isn’t enough for these folks- they always seem to think they can do better, that they can prove even better than before that they are a bunch of morally bankrupt, inept power-hungry whores.

And so while flexing the muscle of a bully administration, the GOP faithful gather together in Minneapolis this week to honor hypocrisy and failure and administer a promise to give America more of the same thing for as far as the eye can see.


The GOP convention got off to a great start, as federal troops and local cops were deployed to recreate a domestic version of Iraq’s Green Zone- you know, the place that proved to John McCain that Iraq was a pretty safe place to hang out. Good thing too, because over 280 people have been arrested for protesting the war. Now I’ll grant that some of those folks taken into custody went far over the line of respectable protest and should have been arrested. But many dozens of those hauled away were reporters and peaceful protestors who were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. And what’s the best way to deal with a flower-wielding protestor? That’s right, drench her with pepper spray. Well, maybe now the GOP can put those not-so-secret domestic detention camps that Haliburton helped build.

But hey…we already know that the US under George W. Bush and the 21st century GOP is a place of brutality first, ask questions after the waterboarding party is over. Almost a decade of illegal spying, foreign agression, and domestic security theater has all but numbed us to the jack-booted thugishness of the Compassionate Conservatives. So these convention tactics should come as no big surprise, right?

And neither, I suppose, should the resounding hypocrisy coming from the mouths of the GOP faithful as they cozy up to their terribly two-faced general election candidates. Remember, not only is the GOP the self-described party of fiscal strength, compassion, and tough on terror, they also hold the halo of moral righteousness, reminding America that sex is awfully shameful, theft is a sin, and lying-well, let’s just say that lying isn’t condoned in polite circles. Oh, and of course, none of those caveats actually apply to members of the GOP- it’s what they SAY, not what they DO that really matters…


VP nominee Sarah Palin supports abstinence only education. Now she admits that her unmarried 17 year old daughter is knocked up. But that’s okay…presidential nominee John McCain opposed proposals to spend federal money on teen-pregnancy prevention programs and voted to require poor teen mothers to stay in school or lose their benefits. While the right heartily condems both unwed sex and teen pregnancy, and just as heartily opposes any kind of sex education to prevent at least one of the two above topics, they are managing to pretend that in the case of THIS particular unwed teen mother to be, all is right in the world, because THIS girl plans to wed the redneck who knocked her up. Now some are saying that candidates’ kids should be off limits and I tend to agree. Except when that candidate is vying for the second highest office in the land, and she wants to federally force the rest of us to raise our kids under the rules she so successfully used in her own home. Sorry, Sarah…but we don’t think your way worked too good here, and we sure don’t want our hands tied to your own narrow set of rules when it comes to our own kids’ futures.


And then there’s the “maverick” mentality that beats down the over-spending pork barrel projects with a sledge hammer that is John McCain. McSame says he’ll put an end to the wasteful earmark policies that dominate federal politcs. No matter that Bush said the same thing and has done nothing. We all know that John is just following the playbook. Too bad his choice of running mate didn’t leap on that train a bit sooner. Yes, Palin killed the Bridge to Nowhere that indicted Senator Ted Stevens worked so hard to bring to the Alaskan wilderness, but only because costs for the project were too high, not because she was ideologically opposed to wasting taxpayer money. While mayor of the blink-and-you’ll-miss-it town of Wasilla, Palin hired a lobbying firm to secure over $27 million for hew town of 6,700 people. Sure, they had bad plumbing and needed a new youth shelter. Don’t we all???


And who can forget the example of political stewardship Sarah Palin has displayed when it comes to being tough on ethics. She’s quite a trooper in this category, as in she pressured the state public safety commissioner to fire her former brother-in-law ( an Alaska state trooper) and when he didn’t cave in, she fired his ass. Who’s your daddy now?!? Add this lady’s cajones to the toughness McSame garnered as a POW and this is one kick-ass super team. Hell, if we elect these two tigers, Al-Qaeda will probably just give up then and there.


And finally, we all know that the only real measure of a commander in chief (and we must view the VP choice as a potential CIC) is the amount of foreign policy experience they have. When it comes to Palin, the Democratic ticket seems to be sadly lacking in this field. After all, Palin lives in Alaska, which is closer to Russia than any other state. And Alaska has a lot of oil, so she’e up on all those oil places around the world simply because has to deal with oil companies. In the 21st century, what other experience do you need, especially when McSame intends to follow the Bush doctrine of attack those with the most oil and the worst armies. Plus, she’s a trophy hunter, so she has all the VP experience needed to shoot a “friend” in the face on a hunting trip. Clearly an important VP consideration if one wants to fill the shoes of Dick Cheney.

Take a close look, voters, at the face of the new GOP. Here’s a hint- the hypocrisy, the thugishness, the lack of respect for individual choice, environmental stability or energy sensibility is all still right there. And so is the preference to give tax money to the richest Americans and the CEO’s of bastard corporations, reward friends and bully enemies with political power plays, and an unnereving desire to adhere to outdated and inadequate mythology to guide us towards the future. The only difference is that they are finally trying to put a pretty face in front of it, even if the do put that pretty face next to McSame’s ghastly grimace.

The 21st Century GOP- a prettier, friendlier “fuck off” to America.

(cross posted at Bring It On!)