Comments on: What Every Kid Needs To Know https://commonsenseworld.com/what-every-kid-needs-to-know/ Thoughts on Politics and Life Tue, 24 Jan 2017 17:22:21 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.4.32 By: Ken Grandlund https://commonsenseworld.com/what-every-kid-needs-to-know/#comment-522 Sat, 02 Jul 2005 08:06:00 +0000 http://annafiltest.wordpress.com/2005/06/27/what-every-kid-needs-to-know/#comment-522 (response)

Philosopher- Who is to say what is or is not a worthwhile life experience? Aside from obvious criminal acts, I’d say anything that expands your knowledge of yourself, your world, and your fellow man are worthwhile experiences that can be shared with others.

And yes, if one can equate a feeling of goodness or a rise in self-esteem derived fromhelping others as a profit, then there probably are no truly altruistic motives. But that is a toic of the next essay.
Thanks for the lively discussion!

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By: The Philosopher https://commonsenseworld.com/what-every-kid-needs-to-know/#comment-521 Thu, 30 Jun 2005 13:20:00 +0000 http://annafiltest.wordpress.com/2005/06/27/what-every-kid-needs-to-know/#comment-521 Just a quick response to your response to my comment, I couldn’t help myself. Time on the planet does not directly correlate to worthwhile life experiences, or even life experiences on the whole. The amount and kind of life experiences one has depends pretty much entirely on the sort of life one is forced to live and the choices one makes in that life.
I’m not at all seeing what you’re saying as words of one who envisions a perfect, pretty little world. I understand that, and it is evident from your writing, that you have a fair perspective on humanity, perhaps one a bit more optimistic than my own, but it’s fair nonetheless.
With regard to “‘people helping people’ without profit being the motive,” I mean…all I can say is that the perspective I hold, which has been vigorously argued for in philosophical journals, claims that some sort of profit is necessarily man’s motive for acting, regardless of the action, and any other potentially perceivable presumeable motivations. That’s a mouthfull and a half. Certainly, of course, anyone is entitled to any belief for which they can provide some sort of semblance of a rational explanation. This isn’t me talking down to anyone, by the way, it’s me safeguarding against any potential objections that I am saying that folks aren’t entitled to any particular class of beliefs that I may personally find irrational. So much for a ‘quick’ response.

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By: Ken Grandlund https://commonsenseworld.com/what-every-kid-needs-to-know/#comment-520 Thu, 30 Jun 2005 06:31:00 +0000 http://annafiltest.wordpress.com/2005/06/27/what-every-kid-needs-to-know/#comment-520 (responses)

angel- Sounds like you’re trying to do the right things. Your son will learn that women are just as capable as men soon enough. Truth be told, some of my best bosses have been women.
Glad to hear from you again.

Rudicus- Thanks! I’ll be by your site again.
I agree with your point, and alluded to it with the the Value of Education. By encouraging and answering questions, we teach our children to be questioning, but capable of accepting the answers when they are told the truth.
Thanks for dropping by.

Windspike- Thanks for the compliment. You obvoiusly know the challenges of parenting! Yes, having kids SHOULD change the way you think about things and act in general. It is a point when you have to stop always thinking of yourself first.

Jet- I wish more people were as introspective as you seem to be. And even two working families can make time for the kids, but I think businesses need to become more flexible, not be so attached to the 40 hour week or allow people more flexible schedules to help parents focus on their real work- raising kids.
And thanks for the link!

Philosopher- Always happy to have comments, especially those that bring up different ideas.

Yes, respect does involve civil behavior, but in general, I think that respect is something that should be presumed until proven otherwise. Do I mean that when meeting a convicted criminal you should look up to him? Of course not. And don’t mistake respect with trust.
Respecting ones elders though isn’t really silly, considering that their life experiences are greater than our own, they have much insight to offer, and often have paved the way for our own successes to be realized. I think that Common Sense would help people understand that all behaviors are not worthy of respect, and also not all people. But with a presumption of respect, at least a more civil society would ensue.
I’m also not silly enough to believe that you can eliminate “badness.” You can diminish it, isolate it, and shun it, but the nature of humanity almost ensures that it will prevail to some degree or another. And, I couldn’t presume to arbitrate what would be the bar for “badness” despite some very obvious beginnings.

Tolerance…meaning not condemning others who disagree with your own free will and thoughts EXCEPT when those ideals harm you or impinge on your rights. And while you find Christianity undesirable, many do not. This is what I mean by tolerance. Teach your children as you will and let them teach theirs, so long as no one propigates hatred or prejudice, viva la difference!

Please don’t think that I envision a world full of shiny, smiling people. I simply hope for a place without real strife like famine and poverty and war. Of course we aspire towards happiness, because we don’t have to worry about those and other things on a daily basis.

Selfish motives do indeed have their place in life, but I don’t think that all actions are based in the self. If you protect your child from catastrophic harm, you often don’t worry about your own well being so much. There are many instances when one’s compassion for others override a selfish state. This type of compassion should be nurtured in other areas of life too, but like all things, used in moderation. No one is asking for a bunch of martyrs, just a little more “people helping people” without profit being the motive.

Hope I addressed everything, and feel free to leave as long of a comment as you need to!

ShaeNC- The transition from “me” to “us” IS a tough one, isn’t it? But without making that leap, we have no society, just a bunch of individuals. Good to hear from you again.

Jeanette- I appreciate your comments. I enjoy your posts from time to time too. Feel free to tell some friends to drop by if you ever see something worth sharing!

David- What a challenge that must be for you, but thanks for stepping up to the plate. Too many kids fall through the cracks when their parents are unavailable. She is lucky to have grandparents who are willing to put her needs ahead of their own, even though their job of raising kids had come and gone and they were probably ready to enjoy the role of grandparent and the spoils it brings.

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By: David Schantz https://commonsenseworld.com/what-every-kid-needs-to-know/#comment-519 Wed, 29 Jun 2005 17:59:00 +0000 http://annafiltest.wordpress.com/2005/06/27/what-every-kid-needs-to-know/#comment-519 My wife and I are having to learn all of this over again, we now have a 13 year old Grand Daughter living with us. Since she moved in I have learned that math has changed since I went to school. She has learned that if you ask Grand Pa a question about the three branches of government he will show you where to find them in the Constitution.

God Bless America, God Save The Republic.

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By: Jeanette https://commonsenseworld.com/what-every-kid-needs-to-know/#comment-518 Wed, 29 Jun 2005 16:33:00 +0000 http://annafiltest.wordpress.com/2005/06/27/what-every-kid-needs-to-know/#comment-518 Thanks for visiting and commenting at my site http:wordslightfires.blogspot.com/
Your posts are excellent, I’m very impressed with your thinking and your writing. You’ve been on my favorite list for quite some time.
Peace be with you……..

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By: SheaNC https://commonsenseworld.com/what-every-kid-needs-to-know/#comment-517 Wed, 29 Jun 2005 03:13:00 +0000 http://annafiltest.wordpress.com/2005/06/27/what-every-kid-needs-to-know/#comment-517 I think the items KG lists are all excellent ones. Consideration for others is a big one with me; and it’s not easy when kids’ brains are developing through stages of “me” centered perceptions. Then, there’s the teenage period where their brains are tweaked by nature and they are clinically insane for several years. But, in the end, a good foundation results in a sound structure overall.

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By: The Philosopher https://commonsenseworld.com/what-every-kid-needs-to-know/#comment-516 Tue, 28 Jun 2005 19:14:00 +0000 http://annafiltest.wordpress.com/2005/06/27/what-every-kid-needs-to-know/#comment-516 Hopefully this won’t be read as condescending or pretentious, or [insert any other pejorative here]. However, I do indeed feel the need to disagree with you on a few points. Overall, you say good things, but…Well let’s see. Oh…This will be long, feel free to delete.

Giving strangers respect isn’t always a good thing, and might often be a bad thing. Perhaps you mean simply behaving in a civil or not unkind manner, but, I think respect means something a little more, perhaps something not easy to pen down. But automatically giving someone respect because they are of a particular age group or profession is silly, I think. Certainly, we should teach our children to respect certain things, but, blanket respect without regard for what a particular individual actually does seems like it might just be a touch misleading. If we teach our children to respect their elders, then we’re also teaching them to respect the bad in people. There is nothing wrong with this, on my own philosophy, but as you’ve outlined your ideas, we seem to want to eliminate badness.

As far as your ideas on Tolerance go, I’m not sure I agree. I think that there’s nothing wrong with having a particular stigma for a particular group of people IF fair characterizations of that group, that is, traits characteristic of that group are undesirable traits. For example, Christianity subjugates the self, it instills fear and shame. To believe in such a faith one must have a particular mindset, some would call slavish, which is undesirable, I feel. I want to teach my children to be strong individuals with no contingencies, while at the same time giving them the tools to exist in society on their own terms. Christianity, is contrary to this philosophy. As are many other large-scale, organized religions.

“As they grow older…certainly not positions one finds success and happiness in.”

Happiness, I think is a subjective dream. We cannot BE happy people, that would be tiring. We experience varying degrees of contentedness, but happiness I think is just an ideal toward which we aspire, simply to get us further in one direction. It’s a subjective matter, and thus, different things will make different people happy. Some find happiness in the solitude that society prevents. This ideal of seemingly overarching, blanket respect seems like it restricts happiness to a particular range of feelings or activities, etc.

“We need to stop promoting behaviors that are based only on selfish motives.”

Selfish motives are quite possibly the only motives in existence. We can fool ourselves into believing we’re altruistic, but we’re just acting “altruistically” in order to present that impression to other people or in order to feel a particular feeling. Because we are the movers of our own bodies and we are the generators of our own thoughts, our motives can only be our own, they can only be selfish. Psychological egoism…James Rachels wrote some good stuff on it.

So that’s all I’ve got. Thanks for your time, I hope you read all I had to write and hopefully will respond.

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By: Jet https://commonsenseworld.com/what-every-kid-needs-to-know/#comment-515 Tue, 28 Jun 2005 00:12:00 +0000 http://annafiltest.wordpress.com/2005/06/27/what-every-kid-needs-to-know/#comment-515 Ken, I forgot to thank you for the link. I’ve added Common Sense to my sidebar. Thanks!

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By: Jet https://commonsenseworld.com/what-every-kid-needs-to-know/#comment-514 Mon, 27 Jun 2005 23:05:00 +0000 http://annafiltest.wordpress.com/2005/06/27/what-every-kid-needs-to-know/#comment-514 Lovely post, Ken.

Being a parent (of three, son age 9 and boy/girl twins age 6) has been the most rewarding, frustrating and genuinely joyful events of my life. It has also been the primary source of self-evaluation. My children see me, especially when I’m not seeing them. My path to self-improvement rewards me, but I owe it, at this juncture, to them.

Being there for your children is a big deal. By that, I mean it can involve choosing a sacrifce that will effect the balance of your life. I “mommy-tracked” seven years ago. I am still a part time employee at the company I’ve worked for for the past 13 years. I have lost all benefits, and do not receieve annual performance reviews. Financially, it sucks. We have accepted some very tight budgeting in order for me to supervise homework, sort out the problems of the day, limit television, encourage books, and teach simple things like social skills and how to cook. We are richer for being poorer.

Each family chooses their own way. This way is the best for us.

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By: windspike https://commonsenseworld.com/what-every-kid-needs-to-know/#comment-513 Mon, 27 Jun 2005 22:08:00 +0000 http://annafiltest.wordpress.com/2005/06/27/what-every-kid-needs-to-know/#comment-513 You have out done yourself here Ken. Each paragraph could stand alone as a post on its own. Very hard to comment on this one. As a stay-at-home father of two boys (3 and 1) the raising of my children is something I take very seriously – as well as with a healthy dose of humor and fun. It is the most challenging and rewarding job I have ever had, and I have had a lot.

My father still says to this day, “you don’t raise your children, your children raise you.” I think there is a lot of truth to that as I am a very different person now than when I was single and childless – and you never could have convinced my single self how much better off I am now with children.

All that said, I could boil down my thoughts on your post to a few sentences:

Children, do indeed learn what they live. And, attitudes are contageous. As a parent you should work to ensure that a child is embraced with love and valued daily – every day and all day. This does not mean that you shower them with gifts and bribes or spankings…but that your best work as a parent involves improving yourself as a human being first and unlearning all the bad qualities your parents bestowed on you.

Got to run – my 1 year old wants me to pop the jack-in-the box as he is now learning to turn a handle…these kids grow so fast – hold onto them as long as you can but be sure to let them go as they are ready.

Oh, and don’t forget to read to them…they dig the library if they go there frequently…perhaps one of the greatest resources our communities have to offer.

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