As the father of a young child, I am often dismayed at what passes for family entertainment these days, at least insofar as the mass media is concerned. Finding television shows that are not laced with violence, gratuitous sexual innuendo, foul language or rude behavior is almost impossible. Listening to the radio in the car is always a crapshoot too, especially when your musical preferences extend beyond classical, jazz, or opera. Disc jockeys seeking to gain the highest ratings go to the edge of the envelope with their antics and even the commercials can be over the top. The movie industry’s rating system is increasingly meaningless with each passing year as more and more on screen behavior becomes acceptable. And on top of that, video games, once a light-hearted entertainment option for kids (remember Pac Man or Centipede or even Pong?), have turned to criminality as the main theme for their latest releases.
Yet in an increasingly expensive society, where trips to the museum or sporting event or theme park can set families back a hundred bucks or more, movies, television, music, and video games are becoming the cheapest source of entertainment for many families. And with parents most likely spending more time working than with their kids, children are increasingly being nurtured by the glowing boxes in our living rooms and bedrooms. We are easily into our second, if not our third television generation, and the effects on our society could only be described as dismal. Children become desensitized to violence before they even know what violence really is. They become entranced with physical appearance and relationships before they can even properly bathe themselves without help. They become obsessively materialistic before they can appreciate the value of money. And they have a difficult time differentiating between reality and fantasy. Today’s children grow up in a world full of promise and technological advancement, yet all we seem to be offering them is the same kind of entertainment enjoyed by ancient civilizations: gladiator-like violence, rapacious sexual play acting, and extreme caricatures acting in stereotypical, but unrealistic, manners.
Art, they say, is just a reflection of life. But what happens when the reflection is turned back upon itself? What then? Entertainment executives, when pressed about “family entertainment” often exclaim that there are plenty of options for parents and kids, and that no one is forcing people to watch, listen, or play with their products. And to some degree they are exactly right. But they also say that they only give the public what the public wants, and this is where their disingenuousness shows through clearly. In reality, the public gets what they executives think will get them the most return on their investment, either through commercial advertising, merchandising efforts, or direct sales. And the public, for the most part, reinforces this perception by continuing to consume all that they have to offer. But, again, if all that is offered is of the same ilk, what real choice does a consumer have?
Unlike most denouncements of the entertainment industry though, this is not a call for government regulation or censorship. This is a call for Common Sense. And it is a call to parents and entertainment executives alike. For though it is hard to evidence with hard facts, it seems obvious that there must be a direct correlation between the attitudes and actions of our society and the things we see or do for entertainment. It is easiest to perceive in children, and unchecked or unseen, the things we learn as kids shape who we become as adults. Children are mimickers, it is how they learn what is and what is not acceptable. They see someone act a certain way and they emulate that behavior. They have no innate concept of right or wrong until we teach them. Yet the insidiousness of today’s mass entertainment is that it reinforces socially negative behavior through its subtleties. Seemingly innocuous programs for kids often depict parents and adults as aloof providers who offer little real guidance and nary a scrap of discipline while the kids are know-it-all super heroes, capable of solving any problem in just under 30 minutes. After weeks and weeks of ingesting this kind of fantasy, children unconsciously adopt the behaviors of their television role models, creating havoc in the home and school and disrespecting their parents and teachers. And these are the least harmful attitudes they adopt.
So what should be done? After all, we don’t want entertainment to be exactly like reality since the whole point of entertainment is to forget for a while our own complicated lives. And certainly, we shouldn’t prevent adults from viewing or enjoying violent or sexy cinema if that is their choice. In truth, I enjoy a good war film, suspense mystery, or lusty love story from time to time. I listen to rock and roll music as well as love songs. But as an adult, I have both the life experience to understand what I am seeing or hearing and the established sense of behavior to know the difference between acceptable and unacceptable actions. As a parent, I have to recognize that my child does not have these same attributes, yet, and it is my job, not mass media’s, to teach them.
I am a big proponent in turning off the television. As parents, we need to engage our kids more often than our busy lives sometimes seem to allow. If there needs to be censorship of modern mass media, it is first and foremost our jobs to be the censors for our families. Parents need to remember that children will not raise themselves, at least not in a socially responsible manner, and that the decision to become a parent means that life does not carry on as before. Sacrifice of our own personal desires are a necessary element of raising children, which sometimes means missing our favorite sit-com and reading to our kids. Or playing a board game. Or taking walks around the neighborhood. Or staring up at the stars. If you don’t feel comfortable listening to sex jokes and fart noises with a four year old, turn off the TV and do something else. If you don’t want your ten-year-old thinking that girls must be thin, blond, and sexy to be beautiful, turn off the TV and talk to your kids about individual self worth. If your 13 year old seems obsessed with war and weaponry, don’t buy the newest shoot-em up video game and then leave him in his room for all hours to master the skills of street killing. Use some Common Sense.
This is the only effective means of getting mass media to change the menu of offerings. By turning off the television, by not buying the games, by going to the park instead of the movie theater, parents can send a more effective message to the entertainment industry. By not supporting what they have to offer, they will be forced to give us something else or go out of business. PBS is perhaps the last bastion of quality children’s television, yet the politicians and the corporate broadcasters want to kill it off. This should tell us something about their true motives, since PBS is also non-commercial and tax exempt.
The industry has proven to be ineffective at controlling themselves. Government has no role in legislating entertainment, except when it crosses the line into illegality. Therefore, it is up to us to call for change. It is not a push to eliminate the violence or sex from entertainment altogether. It is a call for industry movers and shakers to dedicate themselves to creating family movies and programs that are both fun and responsible. It is a call for parents to be more parental and more involved with their kid’s entertainment choices. And it is a call for families to spend more time doing things together and relying less on mass media to teach and entertain us.
This entry was posted on Sunday, July 10th, 2005 at 8:14 am and is filed under Common Sense, General, Life, Media, society.
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July 10th, 2005 at 8:22 pm
Please come visit The Big Red Blog: A Political Road Sign Transcending State and Party Lines.
July 11th, 2005 at 12:55 am
Please insert HERE sound of a LOUDLY clapping 59 year old wife and mother!! I totally agree with you 1,000%!
Sadly, though, I think it might be too late. There are very few people like you … and I. Those who think things have gone too far. What I see from my perch on the hill is that parents are looking for ways to have children and NOT parent them!
They want the ‘fun’ without the responsibility and the unglamorous job of actually instilling VIRTUES into their children.
Can we change that attitude that is becoming all to prevalent? I don’t know. But you are right … until the parents start ACTING like parents our society will continue to flounder and our children will grow up in ways the few of us left that care will definitely NOT like!
I’m blogmarking your site … I think its great!
July 11th, 2005 at 4:41 am
I spend a lot of time with my little girls on the riverbank, in the garden, anywhere but in front of the TV. The sorry state of what is known as “entertasinment” these days has me running away from it, both child-sized and adult.
July 11th, 2005 at 9:11 am
I couldn’t agree with you more. Our kids are our future, yet some spend less time with them than they do the so-called more important things. The best things in life are free, and if done right, we will reap far more from having spent quality time with our precious children who grow up all too fast. Children teach us lots of things and open our eyes to sights we would otherwise have missed. It really is the little things that count most in life…our kids. If more people would turn off the television and turn on the video camera and make their own family movies, they’d have a treasure that is measured by NO other for years to come.
July 12th, 2005 at 2:59 am
There are so many variables. Parents should take charge, because, realistically, ugly media will not go away for a while, if ever. The money is there, and unfortunately that will probably win out over common sense self-monitoring of damaging material.
When I was a kid, and an adolescent, I loved disgusting stuff. We did not have computers or dvd’s or even vcr’s, but there were some horror comics out there that were, well, horrific, and some other magazines, too. When you’re 10 or 12 years old, unfortunately, sex and violence can be quite captivating. Of course, I was poorly parented 8^)
I can say this, though: if one removes the “forbidden fruit” aspect of something, it becomes less attractive to the kid. So, involvement with the kid(s) might be a useful road to take – explore their weirdest interests with them, and maybe you can take control a bit.
Random thoughts from someone who has no kids, but was one, actually, for several years.
July 12th, 2005 at 4:07 pm
I agree. There is too much junk out there. When my kids are in teh car with me, they get a lesson in classical music, classic rock, Christian Radio, News or Astros Baseball. At home we do use the locks on the channels that we do not want them to watch. All movies that we let them go to are pre screened as are the books we let the read.
It’s work, but we think that it is worth the effort to filter trash out.
July 12th, 2005 at 6:39 pm
For anyone, here’s a question.
Is there an age before 18 that it’s okay to stop filtering the entertainment (books, movies, music, etc.) that children listen to, watch, or read?
July 13th, 2005 at 1:44 am
I think that it depends on how one defines filtering. Rather than outright censorship, I think filtering by talking about it with the kid(s) can go on forever… it can develop into a relationship where new ideas are explored between parent and child, and the role of teacher and instructor can be interchanged through the years.
July 13th, 2005 at 5:34 am
(responses)
mama- Thanks for the rounding show of support. I think this is kind of a Common Sense issue, if people would only decide not to always put themselves ahead of their childrens need for interaction.
Please drop by again.
Jolly- It seems we have something in common here. There is so much more to do than always sit in front of the tv. Good to hear from you again.
Moda- Now you’re talking. I wish more people had your attitude. That’s not to say that every waking moment should be dedicated to our children, but that the time we do have to spend and teach shouldn’t be wasted in fron tof sit-coms and so-called realty tv.
ShaeNC- For not having kids, you seem to get the issue just fine. And yes, different material become appropriate, or at least less objectionable, at different ages. After all, we don’t want our children to be completely absent from the world, and exposure to tv and movies and the like offer opportunities to address these things. However, the creators of popular media can’t be expected to dumb everything down to the level of a four year old, and that is where parental interaction enters the field. Still, some content that wasn’t full of not so subtle sexuality, cursing (even mild) and violence should be available beyond the level of the telly tubbies.
Vulture- Definitely worth the effort to prevent kids from seeing too much of the trash. Some exposure is good and even helpful, but each age must be guided by parents who are involved enough to know what their kid is ready for.
And of course, variety is a big key to a growing mind, so too much of the same thing can easily become obsessive in young kids.
Kevin- Shae has one answer, but here is my take: Filtering by parents is not an exact science, since not all kids grow at the same intellectual, emotional, or physical rate. Factual information is presented in stages, with more details revealed as the child can accept and process it. The same should be true with the main themes of modern mass media.
And as Shae comments, filtering can evolve into a flow of information and opinion between parents and children, offering a much better chance for understanding than complete abandonment of the medium.
Great comment!
July 13th, 2005 at 1:36 pm
Ken – one important thing I forgot to add: My wife and I are careful to monitor what our two cats watch. When we go out, we always leave the TV turned to Animal Planet for them. They love the dog shows (they know cats would never allow themselves to be led around that way), but we don’t let them watch Animal Cops – too violent!
July 13th, 2005 at 2:22 pm
You are a voice of reason! Thank you for your refreshing views on the world! I also share your vision of “common sense”, I think the movement is more prevalent than we think, unfortunately it’s not a big media event. There are others out there like us, and each of them is doing something in their own way, to contribute to the movement!!
Your posts about common sense remind me of what I posted in my blog, you can find it at: http://thislifeinanutshell.blogspot.com/2005_04_27_thislifeinanutshell_archive.html
I appreciate your “common sense” blog! I’ll be linking to it so others can enjoy it too!!
July 13th, 2005 at 7:17 pm
Turn off the TV??? Board games??? Ken, you REBEL you! Amen!
And the answer to Kevin’s question – NO! A parent needs to evaluate EVERYTHING going on under their roof, including information that comes via the radio, tv sets, game boxes, or whatever. It’s not the Government’s job to provide censorship (as Ken pointed out), it’s a parent’s job. I’d even go as far as to say even if the “child” has passed 18 but still lives under the same room, the above should apply. If they don’t like it, pay for their own roof.
Another great post, Ken!
July 14th, 2005 at 6:22 am
(responses)
Shae- Animal rescue shows can also be disturbing, but cats can always be rehabilitated with a little catnip.
Jessica- I hope that Common Sense exists in greater quantities than sometimes seems apparent. And I enjoyed your essay. Thanks for the link, and drop by again soon.
GTL- Yes, me and my rebellious ways. Next thing you know I’ll be telling people to read and think. (Wait…I already do that too!)
Always glad to hear from you!
July 17th, 2005 at 2:07 am
Personally I think it’s wise to protect children from too much TV… but the problem is that it’s become such a definitive social event… experientially it’s the platform upon which a lot of us relate… favorite show, what happened last night on Survivor/Apprentice, etc… and it’s hard to prevent kids getting swept up in that element of our culture.
I think it’s probably wiser to expose them to different, more challenging forms of art and entertainment. If, and when I have kids I will make sure they read, and read a lot, all the way until their eighteenth birthday… TV, and especially US TV, rarely nurtures the mind.
July 21st, 2005 at 9:03 pm
I know I’m late to the game in commenting here, but thought I’d toss in my two cents:
The trouble is when television becomes a surrogate for babysitting. The national average for children is something like 4 to 6 hours of television a day. No wonder there is an obesity problem in America.
In our house, we don’t use television often, and when we do watch it with the kids, we use dvds (Blues Clues, Sesame Street, etc..) of shows we approve. We rarely, if ever, watch commercial television with the kids. They don’t even like the shows.
No one is stopping you from turning off the television and for a long time – before I was married, I didn’t even own one (think about that when folks came over for a party, they would be astounded at the lack of tube in my apartment).
My mantra was that television often sucks you in and spits out your soul. If you feel dirty afterward, could be because the content stinks. Hollywood bends over for the money. And in the case of entertainment, often go for the least common denomenator (never misunderestimating the viewer), with a special subgoal of subjecting prospective consumers with a barrage of adverts designed to stick it to you from cradle to grave. Just why do you think Disney owns Baby Einstein anyway…
July 24th, 2005 at 6:46 am
(responses)
Graham- Thanks for stopping by.
Reading is much better than TV for both children and adults. It develops the imagination, strengthens vocabulary and comprehension, as well as exposing oneself to a multitude of information and entertainment.
And though TV does indeed have its place in society, limited exposure is often more enjoyable than saturation.
I am an avid reader, and enjoy a few TV programs, but I could easily live in a world with no TV, whereas the same could not be said for a world without books.
Windspike- It’s never too late to voice your thoughts. Thanks for chiming in.
Yes, too many rely on TV as a babysitter under the pretense that the world is too unsafe, ironically a concept reinforced by popular tv programming. And the lack of physical activity in favor of sedentary entertainment like tv is indeed a growing factor in poor health.
I too lived for long periods without a television, and can easily do without. I wish the same were true for most people.